Leaning Forward

Preparation mode

Faith isn't theoretical! Granted, theologians and historians and philosophers have posed more than a few rhetorical questions over the years. But, our main faith question isn't "what would Jesus do?". Asking that all the time leaves us lost in the "woulds", pun intended. No, the real question is "what did Jesus do?". No, as Harriet and I have discovered the past couple of week, it's even more than that. "What is Jesus doing?"  may be the best measure of our faith.

There's a good case for the continuity of action here. Without getting too detailed or academic, the present tense of Greek often gives a sense of continuous action. To say that Jesus did something would actually connote the meaning that he continues to perform that same action. So, when we ask "what did Jesus do?", we're not posing the paradox of wondering what he might do, but are focusing instead of something firm, with the full reality that it is a ministry he plays in our lives beyond the event recorded in Scripture.

Today, the question is, "how did Jesus do what he did?", or, "where did the man Jesus find the resources to do what he did?". The obvious answer is that he spent time with the Father. He often went aside to lonely places and there he prayed. Even beyond the theme text, Luke 5:16, the Gospels record many instances of Jesus being in lonely places. Today I'll add a layer or two of meaning when I translate and interpret the words "withdrew" and "lonely places", key words in the text. Understanding them may open us to dimensions of his preparation to endure the cross and the suffering he experienced there.

God is never surprised. So, these times of personal preparation may actually be times when God starts sending his grace ambulances to us in advance of what is coming. Looking back over the past three weeks Harriet and I can see God's movement over our lives to prepare us for the ordeal of our son's death. We are certain of it. Yet, we were too absorbed in the life at the time that we let them slip right by us. Today we learn from Jesus the grace of time with the Father as our preparation for life.

We'll experience the ordinances in worship today too. I'm praying that we'll be attentive to what He would have us hear and incorporate into our lives.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

Car time

OK, so there have been jokes about the pastor of Northwood Baptist Church and the President of the South Carolina Baptist Convention having a black Soul. Whatever! It's even funnier when you know that our deacon Chairman Frank Reeder has a silver Soul. It's good joke fodder. So, go ahead!

Harriet and I purchased the black Soul for three reasons. (1) It was originally engineered for young people, and we're young at heart; (2) It has a great sound system; and, (3) it fit our budget.

When I worked for the South Carolina Baptist Convention a few years ago, God taught me the value of what I can only call "car time". Being on the road put me behind the wheel a good bit and God took me to school to learn the lessons about the value of time in the car. Now, I am aware that some people don't like to ride with me. There's this thing I call "auto evangelism"---meaning that if you aren't a believer when you get in my car, you definitely will be when you get out. Nevertheless, when I'm talking about "car time", I'm not talking about when the car is loaded with people or when a group of us in going to a meeting or when I'm in road rage because of the other people on the road.

I'm talking about when I am alone, or with Harriet, and we experience the relative silence of the road, and the opportunitities for time with the Lord. After 38 years, Harriet and I dn't have to talk to communicate. So, we can ride to Greenville, for example, turn up Brooklyn Tab or Casting Crowns or Travis Cottrell, and let God cover us with grace as my iPod plays through the stereo system. it is a way to disconnect from the noise of life for a few hours and listen to Him. You know, being slow to speak and quick to listen. Amazingly, it is peaceful.

There is also phone time. Now, I know texting in the car or playing games on the iPhone while criving down the road is not good. But, I do like to make telephone calls when I'm in the car. "Car time" is an occasion when I can talk to our congregation members and family, and in some ways perform pastoral duties while on the road. When I was with the SCBC, I would always call or attempt to call the pastors of churches I passed along the way. They always blessed my heart and ministered to me.

So, we're having "car time" this weekend as we go to Greenville to celebrate The Chester's birthday. It's a three hour drive, so well listen to some good music, and allow God to speak to us as we travel.

BTW, listening to Christian music helps with the road rage too! 

Rejoicing too

Today our family rejoices in the 84th birthday of our father, affectionately known as The Chester! Our lives are so filled with his special character, the humor, wisdom, and fatherly bearing that has so influenced us through the years. So, we're all going to Greenville for a few hours to relish some family time and celebrate another family milestone.

It is another reminder that, in the face of death, there is life, and the celebration of life. Being people of life, we're going to gather around The Chester to celebrate his! Among our many blessings are the unique joys of the generations, the Holmes clan with The Chester as our patriarch and all the rest, down to two great grandchildren. Michael, Christie, and I thank God daily for our parents and so we're especially grateful for the blessing of another year with The Chester. We know we're blessed!

The state of the family these days makes us even more appreciative of our parents and the way The Chester and Esther raised us. Our parents instilled in us the values of Chrisitan morality, took us to church three times a week, provided a college education for each of us, taught us to love and honor God, and showed us the merits of a strong work ethic and deep faith. Our parents were committed to each other for a life time and modeled loving each other in the virtue of Christ. As a veteran of the WWII era U.S. Navy, The Chester taught us to love our country, salute the flag, and respect our elders. In our household we learned the importance of relationships and the value of other people. As we light the candles and sing a few bars of HAPPY BIRTHDAY, we'll remember many wonderful times as a family and recount some of the incidents that have shaped us over the years. Even as we grieve over the death of Brian E. Holmes, this time will be fun and assuring.

Among our greatest gifts from The Chester is the ability to laugh. Our dad has a rich sense of humor. All our lives he taught us how to have Christian fun, laugh at the appropriate circumstances and events, and weep with others as they wept. But, the humor thing has gone far in helping us to understand the ups and downs of life, making us cherish the special moments that families share. Some of our favorite memories are of the practical jokes and pranks that marked our passage over the years. My friend Charlie Ingram and I will never forget the night he dropped a fur coat on us from the sun deck as we came home from a night of revelry. We thought a bear had fallen on us!!! It was a good laugh---after we recovered from fright. We've really never paid him back adequately for that one.

So, today it's HAPPY 84TH  BIRTHDAY CHESTER, our dad, the man we love and respect most in this life. We're praying that it will be a special day for him and a time of rejoicing for all of us tomorrow when we get together for a meal and fond family times.

What a blessing!

The new normal

Normal keeps shifting. Certain events, actions, or discoveries change the landscape so drastically that normal is never normal again. As one person said, it is the new normal. So, after the invention of the wheel, the printing press, the assembly line, the telephone, the world wide web, what was normal went up a few notches. Life wasn't  the same after these seismic shifts, and many others like them. Like the town in Japan that grows the square melons pictured here. If they market the things correctly they could become the new normal in produce. We'll adjust.

Harriet and I have been praying for normal. The past two weeks have rocked our world. The shock of Brian's murder sucked the breath right out of us. We were thrust into events and times that could only be called abnormal, a tragedy that has taken us to the depths of despair, a loss that we still cannot fathom. While in that abnormal place, we've been surrounded by people who love and care for us. They have covered us with extra-normal support, far beyond what we could have imagined. There has been nothing ordinary or routine about these times. But, what has happened has been so momentous, of such gravity, that things wil never be the same for us. So, in the emotional ebb and flow we have longed for normal, knowing that, in reality, it is a new normal that will go with us into the future.

Harriet and I both thrive in change. Our strengths are so different that we seem an odd match at times. Yet, we share a BELIEF strength that binds us in a common value system. One of our basic core values is Isaiah 43:19, "See I am doing a new thing!". We believe God is constantly doing a new thing in our lives. We must adjust and adapt to the newness of every moment, the fresh and pungent reality of the new wine Jesus talked about (see Matthew 9:17). So, our faith is ever-changing. We love contemporary worship because it's so vibrant and pulsing with life. Our iPods rock with Casting Crowns, Third Day, December Radio, Margaret Becker, and Rush of Fools, because they reflect a sense of newness that seems to connect with the many people our age who respond to change like we do. They are the new normal in Christian music. And, it is just one little segment of the new thing God is doing in us.

The long and short of this rant is that we long for the new normal God will bring to us as we adjust to our life without Brian. We are not afriad of this new normal and we will not resist it. We know that God will lead us through this dark night and give us fresh understandings of His grace for the days ahead. I'm not sure how I'll adjust to square watermelons! But, I know we'll move on in this life comforted by the memories of our son and the knowledge that he has received an eternal reward that far outweighs what he had in this clay vessel.

Till then we're visiting the old normal and thanking God for it. As we think about Brian and the past thirty three years, a Bible verse gives us sure footing---I thank my God every time I remember you (Philippians 1:3). It brings the warmth of the old normal around us like a comforter. Then, we read, "...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Philippians 2:13), and know he's taking us to a new normal in his care.

Et vu?

The science of pain

It's hard to describe the sense of loss when a very dear person close to you dies. The Christian list we check through should bring us a measure of joy and comfort. [1] the person was a believer. [2] the person is in heaven with Jesus. {3] the person is loosed from the constraints of the human condition. [4] the person has received the eternal crown of glory from Christ. And, all the rest. Yes, they do bring calm to the rough seas that usually accompany death.

But, there is still this pain. In the science of pain it barely registers. There's no bleeding or open wound, no real nociceptive acuteness, or any of the other typical pain indicators. Common pain meds won't touch this pain, though a few rounds of Jim Beam may shift it to the back waters of consciousness for a while. There are some pharmaceuticals that will temporarily elevate us above the pain too. But, in the science of pain, few remedies will dull the ache of personal grief and loss. On a scale of one to ten, with one being only faint pain, and ten being intense pain, this emotional suffering rates at least 67.

A grief cycle superintends this pain. Denial>>>Anger>>>Bargaining>>>Depression>>>Acceptance. It is very predictable and there are few shortcuts. Would that it could be a simple developmental, progressive, chronologically arranged process with timed stops along the way! Yet, as a rogue system it is untamed. It cannot be bottled or canned or strained or reduced. There are no generic substitutes. And, it is more the science of pain management than the science of pain. 

Trusting God must be the final arbiter of this unruly path. As the death of our 33 year old son leans our pain scale to the extreme, we must know someone or something at the deepest possible level to endure it. When these grief friends call---denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance---there must be someone or something gripping us lest we fall overboard into the abyss. The world says it is other people who have laid hold of us, friendships and relationships that bond us to humans who drag us through the mess. Certainly, being supported and carried by our support network is a genuine blessing.

But, more, it must be God who carries us through. Humans cannot possess the lasting strength for this task, fallible as we are.  As we deal with the mecahnics of pain management, we are gripped by forces bigger and stronger and more certain than human intentons, cheering, or even the sure hands of people who are close. Only God can gain us entrance to the exit of these things. 

Harriet and I are not sure where we are in the process. There are things that we know. They give us assurance. Even more, we know He has us in His grip, and He will hold us till then, however long that may take. What is more, we know he will ease our pain and give us peace when this journey is over. And, we know our son Brian Eliot Holmes is with Him and we will be with him too one day.

Today we hurt. The pain is intense. But, healing is coming....in His time!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

Fragrance

Yesterday Harriet and I went to Dorchester Memory Gardens, to the grave site of our son, Brian Eliot Holmes. He was shot and killed last Monday morning in downtown Charleston. Our grief is heavy, perhaps more so a week later. Our faith is very strong and we know God will bring us through this dark night of anguish. We look forward to the morning when weeping will end and we will find promised joy. Till then, we are depending on the "grace ambulances" he sends us through each day to rescue us in our despair.

One came to me yesterday morning as we approached the grave. Walking hand in hand I was assaulted by the aroma of the flowers covering Brian's grave. It was a gift of grace.

Two things registered instantly. Granted, I'm most likely overly sensitive right now and may actually be reading more into things that are actually there. Yet, the fragrance that hovered over and around us was a significant reminder that God is on control of all things. In creation God ordered the universe, put the heavenly bodies in motion, orchestrated the seasons, calibrated time. He brought flora and fauna out of the earth, and gave them unique qualities of beauty---their colors, textures, shapes, and smells. In a place of death wonderful people placed emblems of life. Their fragrance settled over us! Another "grace ambulance" to rescue us.

Yes, those flowers too will die, disconnected from the vines and roots that sustain them. But, for the brief moments they adorn Brian's grave, they bring a special aroma that reminds us of the Lord God who created all things, who will see us through this dark night, and guide us to a new thing He is doing. The flowers are a "grace ambulance" that announces the seasons. Smelling those flowers reminded us that this season too will pass. The fragrance of flowers.

Layer two of this blessing involved the tags on each of the floral arrangements. Each piece was sent by someone close to Brian, Katherine, or people in our families. Scripture says that we are to be the aroma of God to our fellow believers and unbelievers alike. 2 Corinthians 2:15 reminds us, "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing". The sweet smell of those many varieties screamed to Harriet and me that there are people who loved and cared for Brian in his life, and love and care for us now. The ministry of fragrance astounds me. 

A cloud of grief covers us. Vision is blurred right now, at least temporarily, as our the sounds of encouraging voices around us. Our senses of touch and even taste as numbed somewhat by the bitterness of the hour. Then, the "grace ambulance" arrives in the sense of smell. We know this season will pass. And, we know further that dear friends and family will continue to spread the aroma of Christ around us till then.

It is deeply comforting! 

The global community

Last week Harriet and I witnessed first hand the incredible shrinking of the world. Earth is smaller today mostly because of technology, in part as a result of social networking. Within moments of learning about Brian's death, we were receiving notes, messages, posts, texts, emails, and calls from our friends and family literally around the world. We are thankful for the love and concern of so many people. Today, we are also grateful to be a small byte of the cyber world. 

Some people are boastful about being unplugged. To me that is sad. And, forgive me for being so judgmental, but it demonstrates a dimension of pridefulness that places other people into the far regions of their concern. In Isaiah 43:19 God declared, "See! I am dong a new thing!" The creator of the universe also authors new technology and gives us humans growing ways of thinking of others more importantly than ourselves (see 1 Corinthian 10:24). These new technologies permit a level of contact and human connection that is incredible. Within an hour of knowing that Brian had been murdered, a Face-book message from Vancouver, British Columbia, from a Citadel classmate of Brian, brought us great comfort. In a matter of hours, there were hundreds of condolences from people who had been part of Brian's life, even elementary school friends. In no time messages from our extended family arrived via Face-Book, Twitter, LinkedIn, through our email connection, church web site, my blog page, and through Brian's. This revolution spoke words of encouragement and strength to all of us. Even as we began the arduous process of making decisions, planning his service, contemplating this deep tragedy, Harriet, Liz, Katherine, and I were strengthened that hundreds of people were thinking and praying for us.  

Here is my plea! For the sake of the important people in your life, learn to navigate this new world. You will never know the impact of a simple note to someone facing life's uncertainties. Text messages never find a busy signal and always convey the personal elements that you'd like to communicate to others. All of the social media gives you 24/7 access to other people so that you can communicate to them in their dark night of the soul, perhaps a moment of loneliness, an hour of despair. To avoid these touches because of an advanced personal learning curve or some inconvenience is to place yourself above others. That is thoughtless. If you haven't discovered the importance of people in your greater schema, you've got a few basic life skills to master yet. People matter. Loving them matters. Standing with them may be our most important inter-personal life assignment.

We are so greatful for the thoughtfulness of so many people. The texts, emails, social media messages, telephone calls, cards, and even voice messages have lifted us through this very painful week. God is teaching us much in thie ordeal. Prayerfully, we are listening and learning. Among our prayers is that He will permit us to be as thoughtful and connected to our wide circle of friends as they have been to us.  

Soli deo gloria.

Waiting

Trouble is most of us don't want to wait. I'm one of them, maybe even more so. Patience grows hard on my spiritual tree. It could be the Alpha Male thing or just ants in my pants, as Grandma Holmes us to say. So, I spend some time tapping my fingers, staring at clocks, patting my feet, or punching the keyboard. Anything to help the calibrate time according to a cadence more suitable to my liking. Ring a bell???

What complicates waiting is that faith should over-ride any doubts slow moving time may create. You see, most of us, when we have to wait, begin to wonder if it is going to happen anyway. Time can dampen our hopes. I mean Christmas Eve is the longest night of the year.

So, we are promised that weeping lasts for a night, and joy comes in the morning. It is the promise of God and something we can anticipate as we slog through the life's trials. Of course, night and day are not literal terms here. They are allegories of the dark night of the soul and the release and forward motion that eventually occur when grief begins to subside. Right now, comprehending the death of our son Brian E. Holmes, we're wishing night and day were clearly delineated time slots, twenty four hour measures that we can trace with the the stars or follow with the sun. How I would like to wake up this morning to total and complete joy.

Thankfully, the morning after our sons funeral is Sunday, a morning where we can find joy in the glorious resurrection of Jesus, the celebration of worship with our church family, moments of encouragement just being with people we love. But, we're waiting for the kind of joy we think the Psalmist talked about when he made that wonderful statement (Psalm 30:5). We want it, that kind of rejoicing, and we know it will come. His promises are faithful and true. Like most people, we want the clouds to clear so we can experience the abundance of life. We want it now!

So, we're asking God for the character to guide us through this journey of waiting. At the root, this basic grace is trust. We want to trust God till then! That is, rely on God to the point that we can endure the pain of this hour till the joy comes, however far away that morning may be.

Joy is a great biblical image. But, that joy may not be this morning. We must trust God till that day!

When there are no words

C. S. Lewis wrote, "But pain insists on being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

We often cover our ears in pain or smother them with many words. Suddenly, the words give out. We must listen. Today, I am absent of words. My heart is broken and even with so many people around and so many words being spoken, the pain screams for one thing---listen!!!

Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the | temple | messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God" (Ecclsiastes 5:1-7).

In our pain He is speaking words of comfort and strength, if we would but listen. This morning He is speaking the words of eternal life to us in ways that make us listen---

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory"
(1 Corinthians 15:51-54).

Listen!

This I know

There are many things we do not know! I don't know how many stars are in the sky, for example. Or, how many grains of sand are in the sea, or how many angels are in heaven. The secrets of nuclear physics are mysteries too, as are the many miracles of the human body. For the life of me I cannot understand the the twists and turns of human behavior, or why I always seem to get in the wrong line at The Pig. Still, I love to look at the stars, scrunch my feet in the sand, imagine the angels standing guard over me, objects in motion, and hanging out with weird people. Being in the longest lines is no sweat either!

Years ago I decided to encounter life not with what I don't know, but rather with what I do know. Some things are hidden---"The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law" (Deut.29:29). So, today, as we face the propects of a really hard day, we're standing on the foundations of truth that we do know without one shadow of a doubt---

Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day (2 Timothy 1:12)

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us (1 John 4:13-16)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance (James 1:2-3)

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands (2 Cor. 5:1)

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance (Phil. 1:18-19)

There's more. But, even this eternal truth is something I know, and learned as a child---

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)

Today, we're going to stake our lives on what we know, and not be consumed by the things we don't.