Leaning Forward

The illusion of healing

John Lewis, our four year old grandson, thinks adhesive bandages have healing powers. He's innocent and active, which translates to many spills, and, of course, boo-boos. Mimi and Ganga can kiss them all day long. But, in his cuteness, nothing heals like a Band-Aid.

Wink and nod at such innocence. Yet, even in our maturity we tend to put Band-Aids on wounds too. In fact, those of us in the serving sector, ministers and spiritual leaders too, are perhaps the most adept at administering Band-Aids. It's one of the illusions of service, the pretense that these little bandages can heal us.

Well, adhesive bandages don't even give the illusion of healing. They're more of a protective covering, something to keep the dirt and grime of life out of the open wound. They can also absorb the fluids of minor cuts and abrasions, and may help hold the wound together if applied strategically. Some of the fancier models do employ binding agents. Still, the healing powers of adhesive bandages and other over-the-counter first aid remedies is mostly psychological. Like John Lewis,  I'm "stuck on Band-Aid 'cause Band-Aid's stuck on me".

Turn it up a notch and think about the wounds most of us incur in the exigencies of life. Harriet and I cannot describe the deep hurt of our son's death. And, there are more, many more. Broken relationships, lost jobs, foreclosures, relocation, bankruptcy, and all the disappointments and unfulfilled dreams that accompany the human drama. Some people live under the constant assault of harmful words. Read the local paper tomorrow and note the reports of sexual abuse, murder, a drug sub-culture. Shoot, in the ministry hundreds of pastors and church staffers are under-appreciated, are often terminated without cause, or live in glass houses of criticism and ridicule. All to say, everywhere you look are the walking wounded. And, what is worse, we tend to put Band-Aids on these gashes and slashes.

It's axiomatic, perhaps a cultural cliche, that we put Band-Aids on gaping wounds. It's more than a simple metaphor, however. Typically, we minimize personal spiritual or mental injuries and are most apt to apply kind words and simplisms to cover them. For the past four months God has been instructing Harriet and me that the gash in our lives is deeper and more severe than our sympathy card sentiments or even the loose application of Scripture, often out of context. It's going to take more than a new Band-Aid every few days to heal this chasm in our hearts. 

So, we can't play little put-on-a-happy-face games or stay busy pretenses to accomplish healing. The Band-Aid list, you know our devices---veneers, facades, a new paint job, cosmetics, positive words, activity, a new outfit, lose a couple of pounds, (or gain them), alcohol, pharmaceuticals, or just about any other temporary covering---can heal no more than a little adhesive bandage. It's the illusion of healing, the operative word being "illusion". 

The Bible uses terms and images that make us know it takes more. You know, words like endurance, long-suffering, patience, diligence, suffering, and perseverance. God's Word promises a presence to guide us through the ordeal of healing, and the truth of joy in the morning, some morning. The idea of "due time" is another concept with healing potential. It may mean more than "right now" or "this minute" or "today". Anything else is just illusory.

Band-Aids are excellent first aid supplies and I recommend their use. I'm wearing one on a minor scrape right now. But, I wouldn't attempt to use one if someone tried to cut my heart out. It wouldn't be enough. To even think so is...

...the illusion of healing.      

The illusion of motion

Some human concepts defy even the physics that explain them. Like motion or speed or activity. At first glance they all seem so proactive. Most of us define life according to them, like authentic living is the constancy of motion or acquiring a certain speed. The mechanics gauge numerical stuff, rates and mass and velocity, and the other measures. But, movement, even at great speed or with calculated precision doesn't automatically equate to an object actually going somewhere. The most agile and fastest long distance runner can run in circles, you know. It's the illusion of motion. It's how many of us cope with some of the mysteries of life. We get busy.

Pictured is Jacques Dugal's design, The Do Nothing Machine. What a metaphor of this culture, this really nice, calibrated invention that requires so much movement but doesn't do anything. Perhaps that's the genius behind this cool masterpiece, an illustration of how we busy ourselves for the sake of a corporate ego flaw that sees inactivity as failure, lack of motion as a negative. It is the ethos of people with a warped sense of value. Solitude and reflection are feared to the point that we'll keep cranking the proverbial "do nothing machine" for the sake of appearances.

So, enter the confessional with me. For the past year I've been busy. Well, for longer than that. As a bonafide "achiever" (among my Gallup signature themes), staying busy is not difficult for me. Activating each day involves hitting the auto-pilot button and I can pretty achieve traction most of the time. So, here's the deal about the illusion of motion. Since Brian's murder in July, there's been increased speed, an acceleration of motion that has been the prime Band-Aid for covering the wounds of this loss. Now, the term is over, some of the busy-ness has subsided, and the reality of our grief is suddenly on the path right in front of me. It reminds me that the illusion of motion is often our little personal game to help us avoid facing some of the harder truths of life.

This is especially true for people with servant hearts. You see, we can be like Martha in the Bible. She was  "...distracted by her many tasks..." (Luke 10:40), meaning that she was so busy and involved that she didn't recognize what was happening around her. This is part of that holy avoidance so prevalent among the helping professions, certainly in pastors and spiritual leaders. On a more personal note, I've been so busy with my duties as President the South Carolina Baptist Convention, I have shoved grief to the background. It's the illusion of motion, the presumption that activity, engagements, and busyness equate to personal progress. Which is blatantly wrong. Movement and motion and speed do not mean we're getting anywhere. I mean, reflect on The Do Nothing Machine for a moment. 

The illusion of motion is a trip-wire for all of us. Our culture is one that applauds activity as progress, and tends to go negative when people are thought to be slackers. But, the motion can be illusory, a cover-up for denial, and a way for us to avoid facing what sometimes are very hard truths.

Scripture advises to "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time" (1 Peter 5:6). "Due time" is a concept that is hard for us, a culture calibrated to right now, this instant, quickly. But, he's teaching me to slow down and smell the coffee and not to cover my loss with the veneer of just being busy.

A post-it note

The death of our son in July put a different spin on Thanksgiving this year. As believers, and more, as a minister of Christ, Harriet and I have long known the virtues of gratitude. Over the years I have preached at least 31 Thanksgiving messages, perhaps more as we've studied through the Psalms or on other special occasions. This year moved us past the academics and even the theoretics of our faith. Last week, as we gathered with family to celebrate Thanksgiving, 2011, we were challenged by the hard part of being grateful. God taught me something about being grateful in all circumstances.

Last night I reflected from the glorious Epistle to the Colossians. As was his usual practice, the missionary constructed this fine letter on sound theological principles in the first two chapters, and then addressed some keen practical matters in the final two chapters. Scholars debate the tenets of the heresy that had caused a tear in the Colossian church. Most believe they had been threatened by a Gnostic type controversy that had infused them with worship of lesser spirits and a misunderstanding of the "pleroma", the fullness of God. So, the first chapters acknowledge the centrality of Christ to our faith, the one who is the only Son of God, the fullness of the Godhead.

In the practical section there's instruction about living. In Colossians 3:15-17 there are at least two "Let us..." admonishments and a final reminder to do everything in the name of Christ. In each of them there is a note about gratitude. None of them are blatant. They appear as footnotes, or, Post-It-Notes, small reminders of the importance of thankfulness in Christian conduct. One sentence may be Paul's shortest. "Be thankful" (Colossians 3:15). It says to me, "while you're living out your faith, don't forget to be thankful". Each of the three phrases in 3:15-17 includes this reminder. Be thankful. Are they there in such a way to keep the spirit of gratitude visible in whatever we are doing?

Over the last four months God has taught us to thank God for Brian's life. We have become more aware of the blessings of parenting Brian and Liz, and the absolute joys they have brought us. To be their parents, and now grandparents to John Lewis and Laura, are perhaps the greatest honors of life. But, this Post-It-Note reminds me to thank God in Brian's death too. And, thats hard. This goes way beyond the talking points of grief counseling or the bullets in a thanksgiving sermon. To be thankful for his death seems like a far-fetched ideal of some distant la-la land faith. I just don't want to go there!

But, those Post-It-Notes are still there and will remain so. I will not mark through them or excise them from the pages of my Bible just because they're hard. In fact, they will remain underlined and high- lighted in my new Bible, reminders that God will lead me there, to the place where I can truly thank Him in all things, even in the loss of one so dear to us.

Is this possible, this level of thanksgiving? My mind says "no", this is not possible. Once again, however, Scripture challenges the limits of my own mind. Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).  

What about King David? When his son died he rose from prayer, ate a meal, and celebrated. When his servants questioned him, "He answered, "While the baby was alive, I fasted and wept because I thought, ‘Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let him live.’ 23But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I’ll go to him, but he will never return to me" (2 Samuel 2:22-23).

That's when we can thank Him in all circumstances, and that's where I want to be.

Tanks

To say we dreaded another empty seat at our family table this Thanksgiving is something of an understatement. Over the past few years we've seen our circle grow smaller---Kay Collins, Gene Collins, Jenny Ashmore, Esther Holmes, and now, Brain Holmes. Even though the personal wounds are still fresh because of their death, we did find some warmth and comfort in remembering them.

In fact, my whole idea about Thanksgiving 2011 was shaped by a memory from Brian's childhood. it will be the backdrop and introduction to my message this morning, something intensely personal to launch us our study of God's Word and thoughts about Thanksgiving. 

When we moved to Gose Creek in 1982 Brian was five years old. He was basically a quiet, intropective child, the thoughtful type. One day I overheard him taking to one of the neighbor children. Brian told his friend we were going to give "tanks" at Thanksgiving. He went on to explain that the Pilgrims and the Indians were in a war. But, one weekend they stopped their battle and the Pilgrims, lead by John Wayne, were meeting with the Indians, to give them "tanks". Somehow Brian had invented a scenario that John Wayne, who often called people "Pilgrim", was meeting with the Native Americans to give them "tanks" to use in the war. So, he explained to his pal, we meet each year now, in memory of their example, to give "tanks".

I remember wondering how effective I had been teaching Brian biblical history and the foundations of traditional American Thanksgiving. At any rate, the whole thing reminded me of the totally honest and simple way children come to grips with the things of life. I mean, John Wayne did use the world "pilgrim" a good bit, and well, the Pilgrims did gather with the Native Americans to give thanks. Go figure!

Far-fetched? Perhaps. Of course, traditional American Thanksgiving is being shoved aside by all of the other competing ways our diverse population expresses gratitude. So, maybe giving "tanks" isn't such a wild idea after all. Black Friday, football rivalries, family reunions, travel, and an accelerated Christmas season has pretty much given Thanksgiving a backseat anyway. Even more, our culture is basically self- centered and ungrateful, making the recognition of such a day something of a puzzle. Having a day maybe soothes our souls. But, there's a good bit of hypocrisy here. Giving "tanks" isn't the worst of it.

At tnay rate, we were comforted by such memories. Like normal grieving people we laughed on moment and cried the next. But, I thought of giving "tanks" and rememberd how a child's explanation of the day helped me to appreciate it even more.

Be tankful in all tings!

Ho hum! Leftover turkey

Let's see, how about some creative ways to serve up all the leftover turkey. I mean, gnawing on a cold turkey leg may have some appeal for the cro magnon, camo types. But, with all food channel connoisseurs and cooking maestros you'd think we could turn the holiday bird into some extravagant entrees and snacks. So, after surfing the net for a while, what are the delectables this year? 

Turkey enchiladas, tostados, nachos, tortillas, tacos, fajitas, and mexican turkey salad. Turkey and mayo sandwiches, roll-ups, pitas, rolls, and with bread crumbs. Go Italian with turkey tettrazini, lasagna, pasta, spaghetti, ravioli, meat balls, Parmesan cheese, and mozzarella. Bake a casserole, pot pie, potato bake, mac and cheese, turkey and green bean casserole, turkey supreme, curry turkey surprise, turkey quiche, broccoli turkey, turkey rice bake, creamed turkey, baked turkey hash, and turkey carcass, whatever that is. Then there are the salads---turkey cranberry salad, walnut turkey salad with grapes, orange turkey congealed salad, cold turkey and rice salad, and turkey with artichokes. Soups? Use your imagination.

Now, go weird. Turkey sausage, turkey burgers, turkey and creamed corn, gelled turkey neck gravy, turkey omelettes, turkey and grape jelly biscuits, dressing sandwich, boiled eggs and turkey chips, pretzels and turkey salad, turkey patties, turkey souse meat, turkey pizza, and frozen turkey frappe. Turkey juice???  Turkey dip? Turkey shake? Turkey chips? Turkey pickles? Turkey pops? Give me a break. Gag me with a spoon! 

Enough with the turkey grossness. Google "turkey leftover recipes" to get the innovative mind of the human species and more ideas about what to do with your turkey day leftovers. Some of them are going to make you gag. It's hard to imagine some things in a turkey flavor. Like turkey coffee. Just give me a turkey with mayo and plain chips, if you please.

Still, Happy Thanksgiving. Even more, how about Five Guys for dinner?

The Ninja Shopper

In childhood Friday after Thanksgiving was a day of football games, a plate-full of leftovers, and family time. This was in simpler, kinder times, long before ninja shoppers and people getting stomped to death in a Black Friday sale. Now, it is survival of the fittest. And, the contest begins earlier and earlier each year, stores and malls either staying open all night after Thanksgiving, or opening in the wee hours of Black Friday. 

So, Thanksgiving has morphed from this laid back family oriented day of turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce to the day that will define the economic stability of the nation. The other 365 days of the year pale in comparison to Black Friday. What happens today will (1) set the economic pace for the entire Christmas season, (2) perhaps determine the profitability of many corporations, big box shops, and mom-and-pop retailers, (3) set the fiscal pace for the New Year, now just weeks away, (4) boost or drag the employment figures at year end, and (5) for many bargain hunters, make or break Christmas for some kids. It's a very big deal, what happens out there today. And, its not for the feint-hearted. If you're going out there, you better hone your ninja skills.

Ninja shopping is action packed. These shoppers know how to climb, maneuver, twist, turn, run, jump, and use strategic hand and body motions to stay on top of the every changing retail landscape. Some self-defense is required, especially when large numbers of people are packing into small spaces, or the retailer under attack places limits on the numbers of items that can be purchased. The ninja shopper may also need some simple body language to make it happen on Black Friday---intimidating stares, a karate chop strategically placed, a nod here, a head shake there, and occasionally flashing some cash. These moves can be used on ninja shoppers in training, and sales personnel too.

So, this is the game of all games, the super bowl of shopping, the Indy of mall performance, the sumo of retail business, the deal of all deals. It is the day to show your stuff, put your fine-tuned ninja skills on public display, and go home at the end with an eighteen wheeler of stuff.

And, if your skills aren't up to it, you can always catch the game, eat some more dressing, and take a long afternoon nap. Shoot, you can do your shopping on-line while you watch the game. You won't have to jump over anything, except your ottoman. 

Take that!

Simply give thanks

The Native Americans and Pilgrims didn't invent Thanksgiving. Yes, they supposedly instituted a unique American version early in the American epoch. But, thanksgiving has been a response to the grace and generosity of God since the beginning of redeptive history. Of course, real thanksgiving doesn't originate in the sinful heart of human-kind. Read through Romans 1 and take a look at the natural inclination's of the human species. No, our ego-centric nature is to know God exists, yet fail to give him thanks or glorify his name. So, our tradition does involve the first Americans, native and imports. But, to give thanks isn't really an American thing.

How do we do it, give thanks? Well, it's not all that complicated either. You can read through a liturgy of thanksgiving if that is your bent. You can simply say a prayer of gratitude. It can be as easy as saying "thank you" to God. But, if you're into something more structured, you can just read a Psalm. Try Psalm 136, for example. It is a thanksgiving Psalm extolling the love of God. Or, Psalm 135, a hymn of praise. Or, Psalms 146-150, al great Psalms of praise and thanksgiving. They provide a Scriptural background to Thanksgiving.

Our traditions are diverse, and often involve a lot more than thanksgiving. There are family reunions, football games, feasts, raking leaves, days off from work and school, and, of course, Black Friday shopping. It is also the beginning of the Christmas season. More than anything, though, should be a moment of expressing gratitude for the blessings of life.

So, thanks for being on my list of blessings. Have a blessed and thankful holiday!   

A grenade on Thanksgiving

The children of Israel usually weren't thankful! After the Exodus, no matter what God did for them, they complained. And, for the most part, consistent complaining negates any momentary sensations of gratitude we humans experience. It's why ingratitude greases the slippery slope of moral decline. Complainers are never satisfied. So, they usually aren't all that thankful either. 

Remember the manna in the wilderness?  This episode can be followed in Numbers 11. It opens, "Now the people began complaining openly before the Lord..." (v.1). Evidently, up to that point they had been murmuring and muttering under their breath. That's how complainers work usually. Their complaint! They were tired of eaten the bread of heaven, manna provided by the Lord. They did everything possible to add some variety to their diet. But, they lost their appetite for what God provided (v. 6). 

The problem? True to the form of most gripers, the Hebrews were always looking back, making comparisons to something behind them. With this rear-view perspective, they could not imagine what was ahead, and had certainly lost sight about what was happening around them that very moment. While they could rehearse a litany of things for which they should have been grateful, they were blinded by glorifying what they had left behind. So, they dreamed of fish and meat and vegetables, what was given to them back in Egypt. Forget that they were construction slaves, and the only reason they got decent food was to keep them healthy enough to work construction twenty-four/seven.  

Thankfulness is a spiritual grace that multiplies other spiritual attitudes. When we are truly grateful we don't play the blame game quite as much. Usually, having an appreciative heart helps us discover the greater gifts of contentment, satisfaction, generosity, and compassion. It is why the Bible speaks so clearly about thankfulness, why we are cautioned to give thanks in al circumstances. At the root of our gratitude is an important theological precept: we believe God is in control of all things. He is always working in our lives (John 5:17), and He is always working for our good (Romans 8:28). So, when we are authentically thankful, we are acknowledging His gracious provision for life.

What is more, constant complaining robs us of fellowship. We all know the birds of a feather thing, and how negatives attract. When we grumble and gripe and murmur we thrust our relationships into this unsatisfied mode too. And, it makes for toxic relationships, the poison of people that can never be satisfied, people who always want more, the ones around us that inject something negative into just about everything we do. Our defense mechanism against their complaining is often to avoid them. Now, the relationship is broken.

Last year I was surprised to note how many church pastor's and spiritual leaders are complainers. There's just a negative, unsatisfied aura that hangs over so many of them. Often it is because the vision is man- made or self conceived, a vision that looks backward and not ahead. This certainly isn't Biblical leader- ship. No, vision is God given-revelation and focuses us on His provision and His future.

A couple of years ago, someone gave me a sign. It read, "The Complaint Department is Closed". you'll never know what a $.50 sign did for attitudes around our place.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. (Philippians 2:14-16)

Thanksgiving loud

Perhaps the tragedy our family experienced this year has shaped the direction of my own personal Bible study. At any rate, the past couple of weeks I've been formulating a strategy for surviving a shipwreck. Acts 27-28 have been the textual background, though Christ's calming the storm on the Sea of Galilee Has been another inspiring source. So, at some point in the weeks ahead I'll do an entire series of posts on How to Survive a Shipwreck. Today, there's one short sentence in the Acts text that resonates. It is a powerful thanksgiving word, one that triggers a challenge in me about Thanksgiving and the role of gratitude in living through hard and difficult circumstances.

Context: the Apostle Paul and some other prisoners were being transported to Rome. The lives of 276 passengers were endangered when a severe storm threatened their ship. Not knowing what was coming or how long they would have to endure, Paul encouraged the passengers to eat something. The text, Acts 27:35, indicates, "After he said this, he took some bread and gave thanks to God in front of them all. Then he broke it and began to eat". Isn't it just like Luke, the author of Acts, to include such a detail in his record. Paul gave thanks "in front of them all".

Reading through Acts 27-28 you see just about everything that could complicate a journey of the kind they were making, by sea. There changed ships, experienced the doldrums, were at sea during seasonal weather changes, and finally a "northeaster", hurricane force winds. While all of these anomalies are actual events, recorded by Luke, they are also applicable metaphors of our life journey too. You can trace the events of your own life, especially when you've been through a horrible storm, and harmonize the process with some of life's most terrible tests. 

Yet, when they ate, and Paul "gave thanks to God in front of them all" (Acts 27:35), there is a life management technique that we know is true but often allow to be submerged in the currents of the storm. The lesson? Surviving the storm involves recognizing the One who guides us and provides for us as we endure it. Even more, it is the public announcement of this gratitude, the way God is acknowledged as the Creator and Sustainer of life, that gives us and others the courage to stand strong in the test.

Scripture is alive with other more formidable examples of public gratitude. The Psalms celebrate the glorious provision of God throughout, many being hymns of gratitude and praise. Before the crucifixion Jesus lifted the bread and the cup and gave thanks for them, knowing they represented his death. In many of the worship instructions for the church, especially in Paul's writings, thanksgiving is central. Blessings attend the openly thankful life. 

This doesn't mean that gratitude will help us avoid the shipwrecks of life, or even insure our safe arrival at journey's end. The mystery of God's ways hides the actual reasons God spared Paul and his ship mates. We can presume God wasn't finished with him at that point. But, there's something else here too. Paul wasn't embittered by his circumstances, being a prisoner or in a shipwreck. In fact, when they finally arrived in Rome, many months later, Paul "thanked God and was encouraged" (Acts 28:15).

Life is hard. God is good. And, thankful people weather the storms and shipwrecks. This week, I am praying that God finds us truly thankful!

Blessings!

Developing reverse momentum

So, life is going reasonably well. Here's a sure-fire way to reverse the trend-line downward, and eventually gain a reverse momentum.

Excursus: it's a biblical text and the lesson is from the gradual moral slide of the Hebrew nation depicted in the Epistle to the Romans. So, if you can't handle the truth, go ahead, click on over to your favorites and surf through the games or something. You may already be on the way down.

So, Romans 1. The apostle was rehearsing what was a pattern for the Israelites. It was an ancient picture of the slippery slope, how cultures and civilizations went on the slide, lost their bearings, and steered a wrong course. Paul summarized, "For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened" (Romans 1: 21).

It is brilliant first century analysis, a revelation of the Holy Spirit and certainly not demographic studies or statistical sampling. The pattern that defined Hebrew history was circular motion---faith and reliance on God, gradual slippage from Him, national trouble, crisis and a cry out to God, and then, His rescue. God knew how to keep His covenant even if they didn't. The clarity of the short-version in Romans is the way thanksgiving is raised on the reverse momentum scale. They neither glorified God nor gave Him thanks. If ife is good and you want to start some downward movement, just stop thanking God for His provision  in life. Overlook your blessings, ascribe them to your good efforts or looks or something more ego-centric, and you'll be on the slope faster than you think.

Giving thanks is elemental to the life of faith. Sure, we allocate a few days each November to watch a few games, get a day off from work, celebrate Black Friday, eat something special, and renew the family traditions. There may even be a prayer or two, acknowledgement of His gracious and generous gifts in life. But, more and more each year, the little rituals of national gratitude slip by the wayside and we miss the catalyst of national and personal blessings, thanksgiving. Then, its just pure physics. Down hill all the way, reverse momentum takes us faster and faster down the hillside of moral depravity. You know, the slippery slope.

Thanking Him may seem such a small thing. It is central to the life of faith, however. It is the simple yet profound acknowledgment that the earth is the Lord's and everything in it (see Psalm 24:1). Without thanksgiving us humans want to lay claim to the things of life, the material and spiritual and emotional and relational benefits that surround us . Without gratitude we forget mercy and grace, wrongly thinking we deserve all the neat things we enjoy in life. Thanksgiving creates the up-look, gets us focused on the one who created all things and sustains them. In thanks we establish the master/subject relationship, the creator/creature, the provider/beneficiary, the giver/taker things. 

And, we're supposed to be thankful in all things, all the time, good and bad, up and down. It's just one way to keep us off of the slippery slope, and to permit momentum to move us morally and ethically forward, rather than quickly in reverse. 

It's not al that difficult. "Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Be thankful.